“I liked him a lot.”
Five months on and those bridges are still burnt and they don’t look like they’re going to be resurrected any time soon. Decisions made, and still unchanged have left you wondering what could have been and the mere thought eats away at you and sits itself not so comfortably at the front of your mind. But that is all you can do, wonder.
It had to start somewhere. That Saturday night you were just another unfamiliar face to each other, both with just a friend in tow and looking to severely batter your liver. Then all of a sudden you’re introducing your tongue to his friend and all he can do is stand there and watch and turn green with envy. But that was only temporary. You’re tracked down and he appears in the form of a red box and before you know it you’re swapping numbers and flirting over coffee. Then that little switch is flicked and realizations are made but like every girl, you’re not sure whether it’s for better or worse and uncontrolled paranoia makes itself known every now and then.
Feelings grow with each encounter and after initiating contact, lack of protection stops things growing and going further. But all in due course, bonds were made, only to be broken further down the track after the walls came down, and just as quick as they came down, they shot back up just as fast. Melancholy sneaks in and has front row seats to a show that’s ending is imminent. Climaxes finally reached after you’ve bared all and there isn’t worth much left to watch in this cliché and all there is left to do is sit and wonder where it all went wrong. Your world comes crashing down after the truth is revealed and your initial thoughts prove you right for the umpteenth time.
Drunken thoughts combined with a keypad put the final nail in the coffin and bury what you had once and for all. And that’s where it shall stay – buried in the crevices of your mind and memories will remain but will only surface selectively. Don’t let the finale be the memory to ignite you with spite.
Small steps paved the way for what proved to be an eventual return to those walls standing tall once again. Just as everything was falling into place deceit and other five foot something’s got in the way of your little fairytale. It’s always the way.
And just like that, you’re no longer filling the void.
“I hope you’re happy.”
